Company-wide emails in the hardware security lab:
• I am once again reminding you that just because you can pick a lock doesn’t mean you may
• we definitely own like 17 logic analyzers and yet they’re all missing
• urgent: who is 3D printing all these ominous skulls?
• using million dollar prototype circuit boards as a frisbee does not count as “stress testing”
more company-wide emails in the hardware security lab:
• due to The Incident, there is now real-time temperature monitoring installed in the lab
• I went on vacation to the Himalayas and met a mysterious old woman who gave me a box of an unidentified substance and told me that all who partake shall transcend mortal concerns. I’m surprised customs let me bring it back, seeing as it’s glowing radioactively, but it’s by the 4th floor coffee machine
• WOMAN WHERE IS MY OSCILLOSCOPE
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