I used to ask, when a guy was getting out of line with me: "How would you feel if someone treated your mom / sister / daughter this way?" or "How would you want your mom / sister / daughter to respond in this kind of situation?"

It's a way to reframe me, even though I'm a woman, as a human being who deserves respect and decency, not an object or an NPC.

But I think all these years I've been doing it wrong.

Instead, I now ask: "Would you treat your (male) boss or another high status man this way?" or "Would you behave this way in front of your boss or another man who wields power in your life?"

Because it was never about me at all. It's about whether they'll face consequences for their actions.