There's an old Russian joke, a man walks by the newstand every day. He looks at the newspapers but never buys anything.
One day the owner of the stand asks him if he's looking for something in particular. He says an obituary. The news seller says: "Ah those are on the back"

"Not the one I'm looking for" the man replies

Front page of Daily News paper:
Ex-VP Dick Cheney dies at 84
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