Well, I had an upper endoscopy while awake and it was fucking traumatic. I experienced everything in real time but the medication they gave me affected my short term memory so it sorta felt like time was skipping forwards.

The throat numbing spray they gave me burned. They asked me to swallow it and it could do it the first time but on the second time they started spraying me I had lost my ability to swallow so then they knew it was working. It was artificial banana flavour.

There were some points where it felt like I was choking perhaps that was my gag reflex coming back? Some points I could feel what they were doing so I know they had to increase the dose of the pain killer and sedative, I'm really glad they did.

I struggle to swallow at the moment, my throat and my tummy hurts so I think I will only ask for really soft foods today...

I can't stomach a full hot meal at the moment.