#introduction Hi everyone! I’m a big dumb meanie who thinks it's cool to <hide the ipad> from my kids even though I spend <all my time> on my phone. My job is fake and when I’m not being incredibly unfair to my kids, you can find me growing a unibrow or thinking my skinny jeans look okay. Unfortunately, I won’t be posting for a while because <this phone> is going to go full 'DO NOT DISTURB' somewhere in the crawlspace. TOOTLES!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ #YouSuckDad #HarpersDadWouldntDoThis #HarpersDadWorksOut