Highlight of today's conversation with AT&T

Me: "we currently have an internet service with you, but I'm calling about a different service."

Them: "ok, do you have it with you now?"

Me: "have what?"

Them: "the internet service."

Me: "I have the account number yes."

Them: "No, not the account number, the internet."

Me: "Do I have the internet with me now?"

Them: "yes."

Me: "I don't understand."

Them, frustrated: "Can you physically touch the internet right now?"

Me: "What?"

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