"Nonviolent communication", bah!

It's not the words themselves that constitute violence, it's the intent you are conveying, the act you are performing with your speech. And here's the bottom line: you can rephrase what you say into whatever enlightened language you like, whatever modality of conversation you can imagine, and the intents and the acts remain present.

There's a reason that we sometimes beg someone to "just call me <slur>". At least that's honest. And concise.