A baby begins crying on a plane, held by its mother.

A nearby woman leans over, smiles at the mother, then fusses over the baby, trying to distract it.

Vs

A nearby man looks at the mother with a pained expression, and says "can you, uh, do something about that?"

A gender essentialist would take these examples and say "see? Women have an inbuilt nurturing instinct, whereas men are if anything hostile towards infants. Mars, Venus, evolutionary biology, QED."

But. The reason that both passengers felt the need to act is exactly the same-- whether you're male, female, or anything else, the sound of a crying infant is a distressing one. It registers instinctively in your brain as a problem that needs to be fixed.

It's just that women tend to be socialised to think it's their job to do so.

And men also tend to be socialized to think it's women's job to do so.