bert: ernie, i keep thinking about that dumb thing i said to maria last week. and then i start thinking about all the OTHER dumb things i've ever said

ernie: ooh, you're doing the thing! the suffering thing

bert: the WHAT thing?

ernie: see, bert, there's pain - that's when you stub your toe. but then there's suffering - that's when you stub your toe and spend three hours mad at the coffee table, the floor, gravity and yourself for having feet

bert: i KNEW feet were a mistake

ernie: the buddha called it the second arrow, bert! first arrow is the ouch. second arrow is all the stories you tell yourself ABOUT the ouch, bert

bert: so the dumb thing i said was arrow one

ernie: and the three a.m. replay marathon is arrow two! you're just shooting yourself over and over, bert. with your brain

bert: how do i stop?

ernie: you notice you're holding the bow

bert: that's it?

ernie: that's a lot, bert! most people don't even know they're armed

bert: so i just put down the bow?

ernie: or at least stop aiming at yourself. the coffee table's not coming after you. maria probably forgot. and your feet are doing their best

bert: my feet ARE doing their best