do you ever get that feeling of having many potential exciting things to work on, but it all feels useless because you're just doing it for yourself and nobody really cares beyond you or would make the choices you make beyond you, and as much as everyone always just tells you to believe in yourself and do what feels right to you, it's somehow very hard to do things just for yourself? especially in terms of putting effort into things? why are brains like that? esp knowing it'd help feel better?