Somewhere just outside Paris, a woman sighs in dismay as Word crashes for the third time.

Somewhere in the US our hero, sensing his time has come, suddenly becomes alert. He leaps into action, waking up his Thinkpad (he uses arch btw), and scours the web for his damsel in distress.

He immediately offers to help diagnose the problem. Nodding to himself, it's what he thought.

"You need to switch to Linux"

As quickly as he appeared, he vanishes back into the night, satisfied he's saved the day.