Judge: "Christine, for your previous crimes against cooking, you were put on a probationary period in which you would be monitored for any future infractions against food"
Me: "I haven't done any more crimes. I haven't done any"
Judge: "It says here that you used half a jar of pickled beets *and their juice* along with dijon mustard and miso to establish a broth for cabbage soup"
Me: "I don't understand, what's the problem"