What is the best oldschool software one can self-host on a small server?

"Best" as in some tradeoff of the following:

* bugfree (or not many bugs)
* safe, as in no or no discovered CVEs
* features for users, mods and admins
* maintainability
* safe, as in allows invite-only, and maybe review posts before being actually visible

Background is, that I have been thinking about hosting one for a long time, but it would probably be only for friends and friends of friends.

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