What is Hackers' Pub?

I know it's long, and it's totally ok and valid if you don't have the time or energy to read it. I just ask this be boosted <3

Financial assistance is welcome, but it wouldn't solve my problem of getting out of here. I need a safe place to stay.

I've been stuck here my entire life. I'm terrified this is where I will die if no one can help. Because nothing is working, and nothing is happening. Nothing has been happening for years. And no one can seem to help me ._.

If you can help, please send a DM.


I humbly ask the reader to read the whole post so that there's a much better sense of the situation, but the key points:

- Trans woman living with a manipulative, psychologically abusive family member, living in a deep red state. I need a safe place out of here.

- Anywhere (preferably more blue) continental U.S. is great, Canada doubly great. My # 1 is somewhere PNW. I'll take almost anywhere right now.

- I am very quiet, I try to keep everything tidy, I want to help out, and I can cook somewhat decently

- I own almost nothing, so I can travel in a van with everything I need

- I have a dog with whomst I really, really, would rather not part. But I also have to realize that sometimes that means making great sacrifices in order to achieve an otherwise unattainable goal. I hate that.


My timeline is ASAP, but obviously if it couldn't be done for a month or two (or until summer, even) I also understand that.


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Hey. Hi. How's it going? Good? Doing well? Awawawa? Maybe not feeling so well? That's ok. Things are hard, and we all have a lot going on right now. That's okay!

Listen, I need some help with a problem I have.

I've put off writing this for a long time because I felt like there would always be a way out somewhere. I felt as if, if I waited long enough, or tried hard enough, I wouldn't have to burden others with this gross problem. But as I'm writing this, I'm realizing I should have asked for help a long time ago. I'm sorry to burden, but it's, how is it said, quite problematic.


I live with a manipulative, and psychologically abusive family member: my father. He is an older man who had a very hard upbringing in his childhood. I understand the psychology of why he has started doing what he's been doing (which the reader will soon discover) but his actions are grossly inexcusable in all ways.

For simple household tasks, he acts as though he is the only one doing any of it, which is simply false. While my mother and I are actively doing our tasks, if something is left undone and he sees that it has not yet been done, he will turn it around toward one of us as though we're at fault for not having already done it, disregarding that we're still busy.

He has started to avoid eating anything "healthy," or will, at best, reluctantly eat it the day it is made. The rest of the time he will eat only snack foods, or foods that are otherwise considered highly processed. If it doesn't have a proverbial mountain of salt or sugar, he will simply not be interested.

Still reading? Doesn't sound so bad? Maybe it doesn't sound great. But it gets so much worse.

Again, due to his upbringing and the family unit in which he grew up, he has unchecked alcoholic tendencies. Not quite physically abusive, but very, extremely, verbally abusive. Twice now my mother has threatened divorce over it. He will drink to the point that he doesn't know where or who he is.

"So he is a rude alcoholic. That doesn't sound bad. Maybe it's a little worse; it's not good, but not terrible in that his alcoholism doesn't physically destroy your household," one might say. If that were the case, I would, begrudgingly, agree. Unfortunately, It goes further than that. Disgustingly further. Strap in.

Imagine living with someone who does not respect your personal space. I don't just mean standing too close to you, breathing on your food, or someone who walks into your bedroom unannounced, without knocking. Imagine someone, with whom you share a direct biological relation, and without permission (not that one should ever give permission in any circumstance), not only rummage through your personal belongings, but very precisely look for your, ah, personal novelties. This person we are imagining, is not anyone who would take care to sanitize and wash your novelties afterward. This person we are imagining will freely use it, and put it back, only for you to discover after the fact, and without being told. Imagine someone who, first thing in the morning, has begun to go outside, completely in full view of not only the world, but of your living space, and masturbate. This is the person we are talking about. This is the picture of a 'father' I am tragically painting.

Does it sound bad yet? Is the reader "squicked" by this grotesquely appalling tale of sickening, incestuous behavior? I'm living it. Every day.


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So I need help. I am requesting, badly, help to get out of here.

Financial assistance isn't enough, but obviously if someone can offer a job that pays a living wage instead of a place to stay, that would be a much better start than nothing. That said, I would greatly, greatly, prefer to get out first, and then discuss the finances.

Maybe you want to know if we'll vibe? Here are some cool facts about the person living in this hellish household:

- Gay furry disaster lesbian trans yinglet woman creature.

- My essentials can fit in a 7' x 7' x 7' space. I don't have much.

- I am very quiet, and go out of my way to ensure I'm not bothering anyone. I know that silence is a rare thing these days.

- I've run various Linuxes, and servers, so I do have technical experience (I even have the thigh highs).

- If you have a local music club, I can assist in live sound. I am a hobbyist (but semi-pro attempts) musician, both physical instruments and electronic. Recently taken to sound designing.

- I have some background in photography and photo editing. Maybe you run a group for which you need help making pictures?

- I have a car and I can legally drive, so I don't necessarily need Uber or anything like that.

- I can assist with, or be assigned, all kitchen and cleaning duties!

- I am not a picky eater, given that it is reasonably healthy. I am apparently a decent chef.


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Some questions you might have after reading this horrifying post:

'Was he always like this?' No, actually! He used to be rather pleasant. At least, from what I could tell. He has gotten much worse over the last 15 years. But only since his retirement last year has it exponentially spiraled out of control.

'If it's so bad, why have you stayed after all this time?' Please look at the current American housing and job markets. I cannot afford anything. I was sheltered growing up, so I did not go through the public school system. We live far from the city, so I could not just walk to get my GED or driver's license. I was in my early 20s, begging them to take me to get a license.


'And you just live like this? And you're fine with it?' Absolutely no where should there be indication I am "fine" living like this. I am resigned to living like this because, unfortunately, leaving would mean, in all ways, homelessness. Seemingly no one I know (in-person, specifically) cares enough about what has been happening to take me in. Maybe that's selfish on my part. Many of my mutuals on here and off Fedi don't know these details until they see this post. Speaking to them directly, I apologize that I've kept this all from you.

"Why haven't you already asked for help?" Isn't anxiety fascinating? How, even under the most dire moments, it prevents the brain from allowing the self to properly function. I'm not proud of letting it go on this long, and I can't imagine the damage it has done to me emotionally, or the issues I might face later in life from these traumas. I just hope it's not too late already to get out.


With it being 2026, I realize I am not getting younger. I realize that this is no way to live, and that I have to act if I am to make change. I am, very literally, in the same place financially, socially, and economically, as I was at 15. The only difference now is a few wrinkles, blue hair, and pronouns (The latter two were DLC).


If you can help me get out of here, or you have resources for safe/peaceful housing, please let me know. I don't know where to go, who to ask, or what to do. The job market is getting worse, and it doesn't seem like anything is going to get better. I know there are a lot of people who don't have housing, whether through financial crisis or lacking safe access to mental healthcare, but I have to try.